Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Recipe for Disaster

This would be the name of my cooking show; pun intended.

Am I the only one that has a fake cooking show while baking?  I bet real hosts of cooking shows don't need a change of clothes halfway through the episode nor do they use approximately 10 different measuring cups when only 3 are needed if simple fraction addition is applied correctly.  BUT You know what else they don't have?  Mad spatching skillz (skills using the spatula).

These qualities should make marketing my show THAT much more easy.  Who wouldn't want to watch such whimsy?  It would make every housewife in America feel good about themselves.  Cooking with realism.  It's powerful.

In other news....

Starbucks drink=demolished.
First Christmas present of the season=purchased.
Kitchen sink=clean.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Application, Schmapplication

Today I spent approximately 3 hours applying to one single solitary school district. had to get in the closet, avalanche. Ridiculous requirements, including a shock of my hair and a copy of my foot print.

**This is a draft I just published from 2010 when I briefly moved to Houston so I could go on the "Parade of Jobs."

That's all.

Don't Let The Man Get You Down

You're welcome.  I decided to allow adds on my blog.  Then I changed my mind.  Just wanted to keep you updated on the level of care.

Add free for your ultimate enjoyment.

Plus I'm lazy and I didn't want obscene advertisements and the list of choices to block or not block had approximately 20 pages and now I blog in run-on sentences and the quality of writing is just way down here with the be verbs and whatnot abounding and I don't think getting a $10 check every three months for my blog is good for my self esteem and The Man is just peeking around every corner of every advertisement; they can't fool me.


Other wins today:

Positive potty experience (I am referring to my toddler, no I'm not that weird.)
Homemade fried rice AT LUNCH (I'm like freaking suzy homemaker, although I'm sure suzy would go ahead and cook dinner but I'm using this as a reason to NOT cook dinner)
Un-monetizing my blog (I'm so free right now I might just float away)
Acquiring a spot in the queue for an emergency bug spray this afternoon (I killed multiple spiders and such in my house, a win? not so much...although its more of a win for me than my little buggy friends (read with accent))

Until next time (when I tell you about how I got kicked out of the free food tent at the race Saturday) Keep your eye on The Man and cheers!  

If I've taught you anything, it's to watch out for The Man.  And trip him.  (Just say no to advertisements).

PS-I solved for "X" Saturday morning at the race.  X = sore hips and knees and a race time reflective of the rest on the side of the road around mile 10 for a sock adjustment...and then a few minutes later I was still sitting.  But over all, it was a really great experience.  We saw our friends, enjoyed the scenery, ate really great food and I finally got my husband hooked on running so that was a win.  I can't wait to get my toe healed so I can beat the pants off him at the next race.  Babe, I hope you read this.  But I'm sure you won't, because you never do (we have a real healthy relationship, y'all.  No really.)

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Don't Want Nun

Feeling old...being tailgated by a nun in a truck says something both about my grandmotherly driving skills and where I live.

Had lunch with one of my oldest and dearest friends today, there's a briskness in the air that I love and a whole pot of afternoon coffee waits for me.  My sweet baby sleeps soundly and all is right with the world in this moment.

Except for all the laundry.  Why is there so much laundry?!  It's like a horror film with cotton and soap.

But I'll worry about that tomorrow.


Monday, October 21, 2013

Fall Fun* Take II

"Disclaimer: this post contains warm and fuzzy content. I am not my usual sarcastic self. I blame the autumn wreath candle I'm burning. Usually, by this time in October I've posted at least three blogs on fall, my love of fall, sparkly pumpkins, lattes and whatnot. It's not that I don't care about it this year. Don't worry. I've consumed at least three times my body weight in pumpkin and or spicy coffee drinks and broke out my decorative pumpkins and wreaths on time (read way before most normal people). It's just that I've been working on potty training my child. I never knew"

When I posted this before, what I was going to say I didn't know was "how consumed I could be by pee, but I won't bore you with my daughter's bathroom habits so here's a story all cozy and smiley about pumpkin pickin'"  but what I don't know now is how I deleted my warm, fuzzy fall post about the pumpkin patch, veggie soup and family!!

Blogger, you're fired!  I mean me.

I'm my mom.  

*Fun, meaning, Posting Shenanigans.  Just directly substitute.

Cosmos vs. Me, it's like 4 to 0, y'all.  The other three points were scored early last week while cleaning up TeeTee.

Adventures of a Mother Runner

I have an equation I need help solving.  I know, I know....why am I asking you to do Math when, clearly, the post title indicates the content should be running.  Well, impatient.  You haven't read the equation yet!

(Toe fracture+3 weeks off the already shortened 10 week training plan)/5 hours of sleep the night before the race=X

Solve for X, my friend.  That's what I'll be doing early this coming Saturday morning.

In all seriousness...I am not looking for a record breaking time (thank GOODNESS).  I run this race, which is the Chosen Half Marathon, to show my support to some of my most dear friends as they raise funds for their adoption.  I will run with gusto, walk with pride, hobble in support.  I aim to cover every inch of the course, even with pain if it amounts to that.  They have taken their journey in stride with pain and joy.  I know that the emotions and feelings I have during a race pale in comparison to what they have been through, BUT I pray they know just how much they are loved and supported by their friends and family; how much we have cried and rejoiced alongside them.

BATTLE CRY! "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever, Amen!"  Ephesians 3:20-21

(Two posts in one day - Bazinga!)

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

It's Fun to Read Good Books

The last few months have been fairly uneventful.  I'll try to get back into writing at least once a week.  I read a few books that I've been meaning to write for the last 10 years.*  The first one being The Poisonwood Bible.  This book jacked me up, and by jacked me up I mean made me think outside myself.  Unfortunately I'm guilty of getting tunnel vision, obsessing over needless details like home decor and pop culture.  While hitting me on the head over worrying less over stupid things that don't matter it simultaneously screamed at me to pay attention to details that do matter and to appreciate the small things in life (like my daughter waking from nap time and barking like a dog to entertain herself while waiting for me to come get her.  That's happening.  Right.  Now.)

My favorite quote from the book:

"To live is to be marked.  To live is to change, to acquire the words of a story, and that is the only celebration we mortals really know."

Barbara Kingslover said everything I've wanted to think or say about the world in this story.  She summarized my thoughts about those who are in need and the irony behind the world as far as what helps or hurts better than I ever could.  I read the book and felt like I could take a whole breath afterward because my incomplete ideas finally came fully into being.  What a gift, to be able to write like that.

Loved.  It.

I'll try to be back with less reflective bally-hoo such as reviews on my new iPhone 5c, baby girl's Halloween costume and my love/hate relationship with Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition.  (I just completely contradicted everything I learned when reading The Poisonwood Bible...  Perhaps....something to think about:  how can worrying over stupid things that don't matter and appreciating the small things in life look the same....but be so different?)

(In other news, it's surprisingly easy to break a perfectly great and fully functional Kindle.  Amazon, you're out of the will for not offering repair services.)

*This was actually a typo but turned out to be more truthful than what I had planned to write so I left it for you to enjoy, dear reader.  Don't overlook the irony.


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Chronicle of a Homemaker

I would call it "Chronicles of a Homemaker" but I'm too relaxed (lazy) to write more than one.

It's totally stressful to get my to-do list (DVR list) completed during nap time, but, don't doubt my commitment to getting it done.  I'm watching The Bachelorette like a maniac right now.

Let me just say that Juan Pablo speaks wisdom.  He's just a simple guy looking for someone to share "the little things" with, in his words.  Thank you, ABC, you made me stop and think about appreciating the small things (like Juan Pablo's....nice.....accent).

Let me point out that the to-do list does include dishes and laundry but I added eating peach cobbler just because I'm an overachiever.  You're welcome.  Or, actually, I'm welcome.

I still need to detail the makings of said cobbler, but the eating of the cobbler has made me sleepy and lazy so I'll leave you on the edge of you seat.  OR I'll just use short phrases to re-cap.  (I forgot what this is called and Google seems to have eaten the same amount of cobbler I did because it was of no help AT ALL when I googled "writing with verb phrases", which I'm not even sure these are called.  (I just solved the mystery of the missing cobbler.  I blamed my husband but it turns out Google is a sneaky biotch.))

Knife slipping.  Peach juice dripping.  Pie crust crumbling.  Toddler playing.  Toddler running.  Pans piling.  Toddler clinging.  Time slowing.  Peaches baking.  Mommy eating.  A Lot.

I made myself leave just the tiniest bit of cobbler for my husband.  It's addictive, so that was a feat.

Back to the to-do.


PS-I hope you aren't looking for actual substance on this blog.  You have to read my book to get that.
PPS-I don't have a book.  JOKE'S ON YOU!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

10 Year, 10 Schmear

My last post occurred right before the tornadoes hit Oklahoma.  I blogged about nonsense, closed my computer and then turned on the TV to watch as the huge, destructive tornado destroyed Moore.


You know what else is ironic?  Attending one's high school reunion.  (and also that high school is two words.)  I felt like I was getting ready for the first day of school.  I had a panic attack over what to wear like nothing I've seen for at least 12 years, well, since the first day of 7th grade.  (I'm exaggerating.  I wasn't that worried over my outfit, but I had no idea what to expect.  First day of 7th, on the other hand.  THAT is no exaggeration my friend.  7th grade is no joke, either; talk about anxiety.)  The good news is that I survived and even enjoyed the event.  I had no awkward encounters, which stems solely from the fact that I dated people in the grade ahead.  As discussing this fact with an old friend, I added this piece of important advice to the list handed down from my mom, to be handed down to baby girl: Don't date in your own class so as to make the class reunions less awkward.

This advice follows "Don't forget it's really slick right after it starts raining" and also "If you get kidnapped, let your kidnapper shoot you before getting into the car with them."  Terrifying, right?

I ended up posting nonsense again.  I hope posting nonsense doesn't always lead to horrific natural disasters.

I'm scared to turn on the TV now.

I'm being forced to read.

i.e. eat cobbler (which, in itself is another post, as far as how this cobbler came into being)


Monday, May 20, 2013

Nothing Says Midlife Crisis like a Light Blue, Speeding PT Cruiser

I'm experiencing a small adjustment period from moving from a town that contains a major university with 50,000 students to a town with a small community college with roughly 2,500 students.

What happened to perpetual happy hour?  Why are there people at the nearest Lowe's shopping at normal daytime hours making purchases for things like lawn mowers and landscaping tools instead of shopping for beer pong table and beer bong supplies?  Where did my value movie prices go?  Most importantly, who is tailgating me now?  Not young 20 somethings learning to drive outside of Houston for the first time on roads with less than 6 lanes.  No, no.  Now that I have migrated north I'm still getting tailgated, but, instead, it's by middle aged men going 10 over in PT cruisers.

I used to be the one tailgating, but it seems that my husband has worn off on me and I act as a "traffic calming device" at least 60% of the time.  I will admit that as I have become more wise with old age my eyes have been opened to the importance of driving just slow enough to irritate those behind me.  Patience is a virtue.

(Just trying to keep it safe...)

Nap time hours don't last forever so I'm off to read (watch daytime television).


Monday, April 22, 2013

My Heart Aches

Last week left me with an overwhelming unsettled feeling.  The Boston Marathon bombings brought questions about humanity, the West exploding fertilizer plant added more questions about God and finally the horrible news of our best friends' adoption falling through really had me wondering why.

And I still am.

I know in my head that hardships create an opportunity to develop character; to get to know yourself, God and your loved ones in a way you never have before.  But my heart feels like its going to explode.

I feel humbled.  Beyond any feeling of humble I have felt before.  I take every single good thing I have for granted.  I cannot let one more day go by that I don't look at the man I married and count my lucky stars for his goodness and strength of character, I can't let days go by without squeezing my baby girl tight and appreciating everything that she is and does.  I can't forget that I am one of few in the world with a roof over my head, more clothes I could ever need and plenty of food to eat.  My family lives in peace on a daily basis and I don't have to worry for their well being.

We live in a world in which basically anything could happen, not just to bad people but to genuinely good people.  This is a hard realization.  My heart aches.  I have prayed for West, Boston and my friends more than I ever thought I could pray.

Sunday, I run the Memorial Half Marathon.  I will run for Boston.  I will run for West.  And I will run for my sweet friends.  The world can be atrocious.  But at least we have each other.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Accidental Twelve

Sounds like a movie, right?  (One about a woman who obviously doesn't understand birth control) or perhaps and inspirational one about a rag tag team who overcomes obstacles in order to be the next winning champs. 

I wish it were the name of the muffins I didn't just cook.

Let me tell you, The Accidental Twelve is none of these things.  What it is; however, is the number of miles I ran on Sunday.  Accidentally.

I only missed one important step during the run.  I went right instead of left and didn't figure out that I was with the twenty mile running group for a little while.  No, no.  I will never be with that group on purpose.  It was a complete and total accident during which I almost made a few people hate me by complaining so much.

It's difficult to keep going when your ear buds are telling you that your goal has been met, two miles ago.

Last words to my awesome training partner:  "I'm not running a step past 10."  Boy, was I completely wrong about that.

Cosmos: 12   Rachel: 0

 Cheers to long runs, and even longer accidental ones.

'til next time!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

I miss you

I've seen you a few times since you left.

Once at Taco Bell.  You came over and smiled at my sweet daughter.  You looked just the same.  I half expected you to hook your thumbs in your over-alls and smile to yourself before heading out the door with your quiet strength.

A few times I've dreamed of you.  You grinned your approval when I told you I was pregnant.  You responded, "Well." with a twinkle in your eye.  You always could tell a story with one word or just a look.  You were proud.  Excited; telling me good job with just a word.  "Well."

Last week.  You drove by me in your old, blue farm truck that you had when I was a little girl.  I looked over and waved my sadness away in that moment, because you were there saying "hi" with a one finger wave.

Every time I hear Amazing Grace.

We all miss you.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Life Lesson Learned

Life lesson: Don't take your breakable, un lid-able beverage holders with you in the car.  I've learned this lesson before but not in the same way.  It was more in the way of spilled beverages.

One of my favorite coffee mugs met it's demise early Sunday morning.  I tried in vain to save the little guy but was unwilling to sacrifice my piping hot breakfast tacos in the endeavor.  I know in my head that it was just a ceramic tool used to house coffee but in my heart it stood as a symbol of my life in Texas; my carefree years of young.

All good things come to an end (Life lesson?).  Even something as simple as a fantastic taco (oh, and, they were!).

Goodbye, Beckman-Coulter Mug.  You were loved.


Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Where the Wind Comes Sweeping Down The Plains

Hmmm...6 month hiatus?  Yes.  But here I am!

In Oklahoma.

That's right.  My family made the journey home for good.  Living by my family has been heavenly.  My husband and I have had more alone time in the past four months than the whole time baby girl has been alive. 

Did I mention I'm a stay at home mom now?  You would think that I have an abundance of time to "work blog" but by the time nap time rolls around I'm trying to frantically fold clothes (by that I mean I am glued to HGTV or other quality daytime television like I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant) or vacuum while I have a few moments to myself.  I tell people you can judge the length of the nap by the cleanliness of the kitchen sink (or the amount of items checked off my To Do list i.e. the recorded DVR list).

My sweet baby turned one.  How much she has changed amazes me.  She delights me.  It has been an action packed year and I cannot wait for another one.

Prepare to hear about packing and moving yet again.  I haven't even had a chance to document the move from College Station to El Reno yet and am preparing to move from temporary housing to permanent as we blog!

I am still slowly losing my mind.  In the car this morning I attempted to turn up my radio volume for my and baby girl's listening delights.  As I was repeatedly hitting the + button, nothing was happening to the volume.  But I did, however, notice that my car increased speed.  It turns out that cruise control buttons do nothing for the radio.

I will try to hang on to what sanity is left until next time, when I bring you Adventures of a Mother Runner and Other Curious Events.