Monday, April 22, 2013

My Heart Aches

Last week left me with an overwhelming unsettled feeling.  The Boston Marathon bombings brought questions about humanity, the West exploding fertilizer plant added more questions about God and finally the horrible news of our best friends' adoption falling through really had me wondering why.

And I still am.

I know in my head that hardships create an opportunity to develop character; to get to know yourself, God and your loved ones in a way you never have before.  But my heart feels like its going to explode.

I feel humbled.  Beyond any feeling of humble I have felt before.  I take every single good thing I have for granted.  I cannot let one more day go by that I don't look at the man I married and count my lucky stars for his goodness and strength of character, I can't let days go by without squeezing my baby girl tight and appreciating everything that she is and does.  I can't forget that I am one of few in the world with a roof over my head, more clothes I could ever need and plenty of food to eat.  My family lives in peace on a daily basis and I don't have to worry for their well being.

We live in a world in which basically anything could happen, not just to bad people but to genuinely good people.  This is a hard realization.  My heart aches.  I have prayed for West, Boston and my friends more than I ever thought I could pray.

Sunday, I run the Memorial Half Marathon.  I will run for Boston.  I will run for West.  And I will run for my sweet friends.  The world can be atrocious.  But at least we have each other.

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