I have previously sworn by the classic Cinch move. It hasn't let me down in the past........that is until I was back in good ole OKC last week. Let me tell you, people there are not as receptive to The Cinch as they are down here in Texas. Maybe it's the humidity factor? I have seen fellow Cinchers here. They get me. We are connected by our affinity for un-humidified hair. We have meetings. I bring snacks. It's a brotherhood. Literally.
Let me move on and give you the background to this anecdote: I can't accurately capture how ridiculous things turn when one depends on a GPS. And said GPS has been left at home. I figured out I was GPS-less on my way home and tried to remedy the problem by stopping at a gas station to purchase a map. An actual map. A piece of paper. With a key. and a coordinate system. I'm pretty lucky that I attempted to teach third graders map skills in my recent past, otherwise I would have had a real problem on my hands.
Anyway, I pull over at the gas station and fill up my tank so as to consolidate all the stopping and be efficient. Bless my heart. I was trying to be efficient without a GPS, while using a regular map. This was largely due to the fact that I felt like the chances of me looking at the road map and memorizing it Jason Bourne style were close to 100%. I wouldn't have even needed the GPS if I hadn't been trying to meet one of my favorite people in Fort Worth at a Panera Bread, but this was necessary. And good grief - how hard can it be to read a road map?!
As I got out of the car, I took note of the cold, Oklahoma wind which was sweeping down the plains, and proceeded to cinch my hood. I pumped my gas and then got in my car, drove over to the gas station and parked next to some type of SUV with dark, tinted windows. I got out, with my hood still in position. I walked toward the sidewalk as I heard, through the cracked window of the SUV, "E.T. PHONE HOME!!"
Yes. That's right. Someone was making fun of my Cinch move! Not only were they rude, they tried to be anonymous through their tinted windows!! This forced me into glaring at any and everyone in the gas station, because any one of those sorry jokers could have been the rude person making public jokes out of my attempt to preserve my styled hair.
This only fueled my determination to make it to Panera successfully. Which I did - not exactly as flawlessly or quickly as Jason Bourne would have. I might have asked a random sheriff for directions, but the only thing that matters is that I made it! Jason would have been proud, as would my fellow hood-cinchers.
PS-The road to being a good person didn't appear to be on the map of the Dallas/Fort Worth area. I'm hoping it will appear the next time I update my GPS. Which I now keep in my car at all times.
Other PS - I love Jason Bourne and everything about him partially because of the scene in The Bourne Identity when he helps Marie dye her hair and then kisses her with passion.
Until next time!!