This is the post I wrote earlier today:
"This is the war on unemployment, the war on fat and the war on out-of-shapeness. Things are about to get serious. Free is an even bigger oxymoron today than it was yesterday."
But then I saved it rather than posting it because I'm pretty sure I can be classified as a cop-out because the very next post would most likely be about this so-called war actually starting tomorrow. So when I realized this I felt sorry for myself, because I'm lazy? The reason can't be pinpointed. So then I sulked and luckily read some good blog-work, mainly on a blog about women who post under the topic "I am Enough."
Here's the deal. Society can rule our thoughts and feelings of self worth. Society: You must be thin, you must get a 4 year degree, you must dress like you care, you must get a job and have a 5 year plan, you must have kids by a certain age, you must read The Gold Coast....wait. That last one was me, not society. You must eat cookies.......me again.
But seriously, I feel that if I'm not using my 4 year degree and using it at a job, that I actually have, I am ultimately a failure. But it hit me just now that this may not be true. What I need to figure out is my purpose, whether or not it has to do with a job, and do that. God put me here for a specific reason, maybe just to touch others lives with encouragement (sarcastic encouragement...that's an oxymoron?), maybe just to blog or eat southwest cheese enchiladas at Chuy's, maybe to be a mom. Whatever he had in mind....I am enough. And I need to believe it with every fiber of my being.
Cheers, to everything being made of peanut butter, and me being enough.
Until next time...
PS-This depressing/enlightening attitude might be due to the fact that I keep hearing the song Mad World over and over. It's stuck in my head. It's taking over my life. I literally hear it EVERY time I get in the car....or that God is trying to make a point. Probably the second one.
Other PS-I'm listening to the original Tears for Fears version circa 1982 and cracking up. Partially because Matt's dancing to it. Partially because it makes me feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.
Yet Another PS-I am recalling some very good advice that a very wise woman gave me once. She told me that half our problems resulted from focusing on ourselves. She told me that I could start solving things by focusing on others, and not on myself; that I needed to find a way to help others. Maybe I should take this advice again.