Friday, April 16, 2010

Death by Butt

I love wearing sunglasses. Adore it. Nothing is better than going and picking out new shades and sporting them around town on a nice, breezy, sunny day. Or lounging around with them near any body of water, drinking margaritas, listening to great music and reminiscing with friends. While eating potato chips or other tasty treats.

I have had numerous pairs of sunglasses in my possession over the years. This is due in part to my inability to keep up with them. I never spend over $15 on a pair, because, let's face it: Me purchasing sunglasses is basically like throwing a $20 bill out the window, a $20 which protects my eyes from UV rays that is. This is also due in part(the larger part) to the fact that I frequently store my sunglasses in my driver's side seat in my car when I exit the vehicle.

One time I purchased the best pair of sunglasses EVER. I loved them. Great color, shape, everything - perfect tint shade. Pretty sure they were made for me. Within two weeks of the purchase, I pulled the storing-of-the-sunglasses-in-the-seat business and sat on them when I reentered the car. And broke them into pieces with my butt. NBD, just re-purchase right? Yes. That would be what I did, right before I repeated step 2 and broke that pair with my butt. I bought a third pair, and repeated the whole thing. I didn't repurchase that pair again. I thought it just wasn't meant to be.

Cosmos: 3 points
Rachel: 0 points

When I taught 3rd grade I quite frequently knocked stuff off kids' desks when walking around. With my butt.

Cosmos: 1 point
Rachel: 0 points

Yesterday when I went to HEB I was having a surprisingly successful shopping trip. It even seemed enjoyable. Produce was fresh, canned goods were easy to locate, and no one was involved in a homicide in the dairy section. I even scored a check out station with no line. What did I do to deserve such a wonderful experience?? Then I realized that a downpour was occurring outside.

Cosmos: 5 points
Rachel: still 0 points

I gathered all the groceries and forged onward to my car in the torrential rain, unloaded everything and even put my cart where it goes. Then, I realized that I left my sunglasses inside HEB. Ironic I know.

Cosmos: 1 point

I went back inside and seized the sunglasses.

Cosmos: 0 points
Rachel: 10 points

What is significant here is that these sunglasses have been in my possession since they were in my Easter basket from my mom (Did I mention that I'm turning 25 soon? Easter baskets are awesome and I'm pretty sure I'll get them until I'm a 70 year old woman - no complaints here! Actually, lets be honest. I bet that gets cut off as soon as children enter the picture. But I'm OK with that.) It was her reply to the trauma I experienced a mere two weeks prior, when yet another pair of sunglasses met their death by butt. This was particularly upsetting as I broke them into 3 pieces.

The current status on the sunglasses I rescued from HEB is good, in one piece, still being worn by me. That's one complete month.

Score Total
Cosmos: 10 points
Rachel: 10 points

Don't worry. I'll win this one.

Until next time!

PS -

You're welcome.

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