And Then I Tried to Make My Toddler Eat Baked Beans

It's been a while!  Various celebrations have transpired since I posted on here.  I promise to be more diligent; I don't know where the time has gone.  I started making and selling wreaths to friends, family and on Etsy, but that's not really a great excuse....Nor is my laundry in "completed" status...please, I beg of you, don't inspect my kitchen sink.  I'm going to go with "I've been on a hiatus to foster creative thought."

Whatever.

Mother's and Father's Day have come and gone.  The Annual Parade of Birthdays is complete, almost.  Today was my anniversary of 8 years.  All of these holidays and milestones just keep coming and my years keep growing.  I have heard old people say all my life that it goes all too fast.  Well, I must be old, because it's going all too fast!!!  I want to save the image of my little girl playing in the dirt with her cousins, wearing her watermelon dress on Father's Day in my mind forever.  I want to remember the thoughtful gifts and gestures my friends and family gave me and did for me on my birthday (mostly I still remember the food related gestures.  I can't help it.  Priorities.)  I need to hold in my heart the pleased looks when we all spent time with each family member on their own special day.  I want to remember the delight of my little girl when she told everyone "Happy Birthday!"  Even though it may have been a few days past and maybe not the right person...

But one thing I don't want to remember:  The battle of wills that come with parenting a toddler.  My little one is two and is fairly well behaved, nice and sweet and wonderful 99% of the time and I really can't complain.

But then.

Then I tried to make her eat baked beans on my mom's birthday.  You would have thought I tried to make her eat a dead, rotting frog out of the yard.  Nothing says "Happy Birthday, Mom" like 45 minutes of howling and hysterical crying, except maybe 45 minutes of continuous whimpering with intermittent flinging of oneself onto the ground after that.

And they were really good baked beans!  She should be so lucky!  Two is too young for the "some kids in other places don't have any food to eat and would be so happy to have these very beans."  I know, because I've tried that angle.  I got a blank stare in return.  Not only did I waste copious amounts of energy trying to force the eating of the beans, but somehow my little two year old tricked me into saying things I swore I would never ever say.  TRICKED!

Fine, I'LL eat your beans.  But I will force feed a bite into your mouth, first.  (parents, this method didn't really work out for me...)

Happy Birthday, Mom.

Adventures of a Mother Runner

I have an equation I need help solving.  I know, I know....why am I asking you to do Math when, clearly, the post title indicates the content should be running.  Well, impatient.  You haven't read the equation yet!

(Toe fracture+3 weeks off the already shortened 10 week training plan)/5 hours of sleep the night before the race=X

Solve for X, my friend.  That's what I'll be doing early this coming Saturday morning.

In all seriousness...I am not looking for a record breaking time (thank GOODNESS).  I run this race, which is the Chosen Half Marathon, to show my support to some of my most dear friends as they raise funds for their adoption.  I will run with gusto, walk with pride, hobble in support.  I aim to cover every inch of the course, even with pain if it amounts to that.  They have taken their journey in stride with pain and joy.  I know that the emotions and feelings I have during a race pale in comparison to what they have been through, BUT I pray they know just how much they are loved and supported by their friends and family; how much we have cried and rejoiced alongside them.

BATTLE CRY! "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever, Amen!"  Ephesians 3:20-21

(Two posts in one day - Bazinga!)

Nothing Says Midlife Crisis like a Light Blue, Speeding PT Cruiser

I'm experiencing a small adjustment period from moving from a town that contains a major university with 50,000 students to a town with a small community college with roughly 2,500 students.

What happened to perpetual happy hour?  Why are there people at the nearest Lowe's shopping at normal daytime hours making purchases for things like lawn mowers and landscaping tools instead of shopping for beer pong table and beer bong supplies?  Where did my value movie prices go?  Most importantly, who is tailgating me now?  Not young 20 somethings learning to drive outside of Houston for the first time on roads with less than 6 lanes.  No, no.  Now that I have migrated north I'm still getting tailgated, but, instead, it's by middle aged men going 10 over in PT cruisers.

I used to be the one tailgating, but it seems that my husband has worn off on me and I act as a "traffic calming device" at least 60% of the time.  I will admit that as I have become more wise with old age my eyes have been opened to the importance of driving just slow enough to irritate those behind me.  Patience is a virtue.

(Just trying to keep it safe...)

Nap time hours don't last forever so I'm off to read (watch daytime television).

Cheers!

Life Lesson Learned

Life lesson: Don't take your breakable, un lid-able beverage holders with you in the car.  I've learned this lesson before but not in the same way.  It was more in the way of spilled beverages.

One of my favorite coffee mugs met it's demise early Sunday morning.  I tried in vain to save the little guy but was unwilling to sacrifice my piping hot breakfast tacos in the endeavor.  I know in my head that it was just a ceramic tool used to house coffee but in my heart it stood as a symbol of my life in Texas; my carefree years of young.

All good things come to an end (Life lesson?).  Even something as simple as a fantastic taco (oh, and, they were!).

Goodbye, Beckman-Coulter Mug.  You were loved.

Cheers.

I am Humanity and They are Me.

(English major, I am not.  But possibly Yoda's understudy.)

Everyone makes the realization at some point in his or her adult life that people can no longer be divided into neat and nice categories.  When I attended college, those in the parental category resided in a completely different box than I.  When in high school, I lived miles away from my parents' neighborhood, figuratively speaking of course.  I thought everyone would always stay clearly defined, mostly by the contents of the box in which they were placed.

Not exactly the case anymore.

It starts with the realization that there's really not a magic door leading to "your life."  It has always been going on.  It goes back to your first kiss, the numerous trips to the library, climbing trees, playing tricks on your sister...I didn't know there would never be a moment I'd look back on and say, "that is the moment I crossed over into adulthood."

Honestly.

I thought it would happen.

That my fairy godmother would appear in a dream, looking like Meryl Streep in some ridiculous vapor form, and hit me with a magic wand that imparts wisdom and a great womanly figure.  I would wake up and be moved into the parent/adult category.

No.  Instead, I while cooking supper one day, I thought about my grandmother doing the same thing over and over, many days of her life, and made the realization that my grandparents are people.  My mom has a story outside of me and my sister.  People I have looked to in my life for wisdom and direction lived with passions and real feelings.

These "adults".....they are in the same category as me.

And everyone else.  Even my baby girl.

Then, later that week, I also realized that I'm not just connected to my family in this way, but I'm connected to humanity in this way also and every way possible.  (by "later that week" I mean I have no idea when I was thinking about this.)  I'm not the only one that has felt the exhilaration of completing a run, who has felt the pleasure and gratification of a job well done.  I'm not the first person to understand the gravity of a life long commitment and relish the fact that my spouse and I love and respect one another after going through life together for a decade.  I'm not the first mother and certainly not the first person to love and be loved; to hurt and inflict pain.  To be.

And compared to older and wiser souls, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.  But I hope that some day I'll be considered wise and will have the pleasure of watching my own children figure this out for themselves.  Maybe my husband and I will even be able to discuss it over a nice cup of coffee on the back porch while our grandchildren frolic in the yard.  And my children will hold me in high regard because I will be well traveled, wildly funny and an extremely good cook; not to mention as wise as Grandmother Willow.  Pretty much everything covered in Proverbs 31.

Cheers, to you, humanity.  Until next time!

The Un-Bucket List

Everyone seems to be making Bucket Lists. Don't get me wrong, I'm Planning Ahead's number one fan, but sitting down to do a list of things sort of takes the excitement out of it for me today. I started this post intending to write my bucket list, but it seemed lame. What matters to me is not hiking Mt. Everest, seeing the Great Wall, or surfing off the coast of Australia, which are all things that would have been on said Bucket List, except I reject Bucket Listing. I would, instead, like to wake up every day and be happy with what I have and who I have with me on this journey called life. I want to feel completely filled up with goodness because I have relationships with people and family and take note of the small things, where ever I am.

I contemplated writing a list of Things I Don't Want to Do Before I Die but that seemed sort of negative. We all know Karma is watching me, so I went ahead and deleted that. Also, mainly, it seemed hard to take seriously. Possibly because it contained items such as: clean the oven, do laundry, buy dairy from the HEB in College Station. (The bottom line is that I complain A LOT and probably have a permanent un-Buckety List running through my brain at all times, while many people in this world would be more than happy with my living conditions and in my shoes! I mean, I have a bad-ass collection of shoes, to be sure. This is what really matters in life....)

The Un-Bucket List could be the result of me perpetually wanting to not be like everyone else, damn the man, etc. Either that or I'm on to something. What I do know is that I went to get my hair cut at a funky salon in The Heights (with a vibe that, to me, says Tim Burton meets hair salon meets 100 scary mannequin heads.) I found in this place a guy getting his hair cut who has been traveling the world for 10 months. He's from Australia and is just out, traveling around. He hit up Europe and the came to the old US of A to visit some family. How awesome is that?! I am willing to place a wager that he doesn't blog his bucket list - he is out LIVING and DOING. I aspire to be such.

So......Until next time!

I'll be blogging it up in approximately 10 months!

PS-Just kidding. The main point of the Un-Bucket List is that it doesn't matter where I am or what sights I'm seeing. This is very peanut-buttery and more relational for me. The Un-Bucket List Concept includes sightseeing, but doesn't have a foundation there. It most likely involves a bunch of break dancing and maybe surfing. And mainly people!

I Heart Breakfast Tacos

For real. They make me think deeply. Or maybe they were drugged.

Everything can change in a breath and life is fleeting. These are the truths I'm rediscovering through the crazy ride of moving to Houston. When concentrating on these ideas, I swear to myself that I'll never take things for granted, especially the small things, and I'll think positively. It's just not as easy to be funny when taking it seriously, y'all!! I'll find a balance, don't worry.

There a few things I need to address: this is day 1.5 of living like I'm broke, day 9 of half marathon training, and Netflix finally got wise and came out with an app which will revolutionize my life. Maybe not, but seriously, it's birth was long overdue.

Today was the first day that I walked out side and felt relief and an overall zen feeling. It Was either because it was about 10 degrees cooler or because something big is about to happen. Maybe something big already did happen, when I got two of the most delicious breakfast tacos this morning. And honestly? If that were it, I'd be content.

Until next time!!

War: Revised

This is the post I wrote earlier today:

"This is the war on unemployment, the war on fat and the war on out-of-shapeness. Things are about to get serious. Free is an even bigger oxymoron today than it was yesterday."

But then I saved it rather than posting it because I'm pretty sure I can be classified as a cop-out because the very next post would most likely be about this so-called war actually starting tomorrow. So when I realized this I felt sorry for myself, because I'm lazy? The reason can't be pinpointed. So then I sulked and luckily read some good blog-work, mainly on a blog about women who post under the topic "I am Enough."

Here's the deal. Society can rule our thoughts and feelings of self worth. Society: You must be thin, you must get a 4 year degree, you must dress like you care, you must get a job and have a 5 year plan, you must have kids by a certain age, you must read The Gold Coast....wait. That last one was me, not society. You must eat cookies.......me again.

But seriously, I feel that if I'm not using my 4 year degree and using it at a job, that I actually have, I am ultimately a failure. But it hit me just now that this may not be true. What I need to figure out is my purpose, whether or not it has to do with a job, and do that. God put me here for a specific reason, maybe just to touch others lives with encouragement (sarcastic encouragement...that's an oxymoron?), maybe just to blog or eat southwest cheese enchiladas at Chuy's, maybe to be a mom. Whatever he had in mind....I am enough. And I need to believe it with every fiber of my being.

Cheers, to everything being made of peanut butter, and me being enough.

Until next time...

PS-This depressing/enlightening attitude might be due to the fact that I keep hearing the song Mad World over and over. It's stuck in my head. It's taking over my life. I literally hear it EVERY time I get in the car....or that God is trying to make a point. Probably the second one.

Other PS-I'm listening to the original Tears for Fears version circa 1982 and cracking up. Partially because Matt's dancing to it. Partially because it makes me feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.

Yet Another PS-I am recalling some very good advice that a very wise woman gave me once. She told me that half our problems resulted from focusing on ourselves. She told me that I could start solving things by focusing on others, and not on myself; that I needed to find a way to help others. Maybe I should take this advice again.

Just Call Me Char*

Happy Sunday.

Karma might owe me because I was keeping score today:

I went to church. One point. I skimmed the junk off the community pool. One point. I baked an apple pie for husband. One point. I didn't work out. Probably a point for mental health. But I'll omit that one. I noticed the amount of points I was earning. Minus a point. I read things online and laughed out loud. This doesn't have an effect on the points, but it's a mildly amusing detail I included for your enjoyment. I want to eat the first piece of pie I baked for husband. Minus a point. Finally, I blogged. One point. Maybe? I'm either one or two points ahead. I would like to cash in these points and apply them to the discovery of a job. Thanks!

I got an iPhone and have spent a LOT of hours playing words with friends. This coincides nicely with the fact that I'm unemployed. I've also been building ideas for the non-existent book I'm going to write. Did I mention that I'm unemployed? I say the book is non-existent, but it might become existent because my sister is going to write it. I'm informed that we are going to be the Bronte sisters, modernized. Seeing as I have no knowledge of classics or writers thereof, I believe it will be like the Bronte sisters, Katie being the writer, me being the other one, not quite on spot, thinking that Heathcliff is the subject of a comic strip. Or hoping that it's candy. Probably the second. I may have just lost all my points mentioned in the previous paragraph. *(Since we're going with the Bronte Sisters, modernized, you should probably call me Cher and not Char, short for Charlotte, now Cherlette in the modern version.)

I gained a point back because I spent so much time blogging that Matt finished his supper and now we are going to eat pie simultaneously. Also? We're going to watch There Will Be Blood. I get two points for enduring that.

I win. Maybe. We'll see how many interviews I don't get this week.

Reminder: Everything is made of peanut butter.

Until next time!!

Houston Adventure Begins

With a little car trouble, the excitement of a new apartment, new furniture, the Houston Adventure begins.

With my parents driving around and around i610, new neighbors, Matt's new job, the Houston Adventure begins.

With a job search, a brief vacation and hopes of finding a new church, the Houston Adventure begins.

It's easy to be discouraged when something is ending and something completely foreign and unknown is starting. However, the reality is that there is just as much opportunity for something great to happen. When I first moved to Texas, I was not enthusiastic, to say the least. Looking back, though, I had some great times, met some wonderful people and learned a lot about myself. It was hard on my marriage at times, but what's great about hard times is that good times always follow and not only are they good, but they are sprinkled with new wisdom and enthusiasm, strengthened love and appreciation for those around me. I'm lucky to have such a dedicated, hard working and loving husband to share all my adventures with, especially the Houston Adventure!

I will never prefer being so far from my family, but I have found that I still keep in touch with them, even when I haven't seen them in the last week, month or few months. I remain hopeful for and anticipate the day that we will be closer, the day my child will only have to travel a few hours or minutes to go to Aunt Katie's house or Lil' B's. (ok, Lil' B has an explanation behind it. Basically, my Dad one day says "Your kids can call me G-Daddy." Which of course led my entire family to immediately start throwing out ridiculous gangster names for my mom. After much deliberation, we arrived at Lil' B. She refuses to admit that we are funny, and will only say that she's NOT signing any grandchildren's graduation cards as "Lil' B". Clearly, she's in denial.).

I'll stop with the inspirational speech now. I have important things to do. Job search, read.........paint my nails.......um all really important.

To the Houston Adventure! Cheers!

Until next time.

Make It Rain, Make It Shower

"Into each life some rain must fall, some days must be dark and dreary." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

As I lay on the couch (remember, I'm banned from saying lounge on the couch, which is really more what I'm doing...) I'm listening to the thunder roll in. It's very dreary outside, which is indicative of my mood. Sometimes it's just nice to marinate in a good storm.

Moving is bittersweet. It creates a totally new, blank slate, waiting for me to write on it. At the same time, it creates a totally new, blank slate, with nothing on it. At all. And maybe I'm about to draw some cartoons on it.

Moving has brought a whole new set of adventures into the Sanchez household, which shall be chronicled in later posts. Most of them have been humorous; some have been frustrating. Be prepared for some of them to have Gale Beggy appearances. By Gale Beggy, I mean my loving mother. She and my dad came to visit this weekend. These are my parents who learned all about new technology and were even beating me at it. You'd think a drive into Houston would be cake right? Wrong. So wrong, I don't even know how to begin. So I'm not going to. You'll have to read next time for that Houston Adventure.

Sorry to leave you hanging, but I have storms to marinate in, blogs to read, and placemats to iron. I mean. I totally don't iron my placemats. Only if they need to be ironed. I mean, who irons their placemats? I clearly have enough to do and don't have a need for a job.

Until next time!

PS - Spellcheck told me "place mat" was two words. I disagree, spellcheck. I'm leaving it as one word. If spellcheck ever came to dine with me, I would give him a completely wrinkly placemat because of all the confusion he has caused me.

How......Lovely

After two weeks of relaxing (by relaxing, I mean not going to work. It included some actual relaxing and traveling around Texas for an excellent few days. But it also included packing, moving, unpacking, organizing, car repair, husband's graduation...), all I want to do is relax more! And maybe dance. Both of these things would be acceptable.

I went to a beautiful wedding this past weekend. Going to weddings is one of my favorite things. What a celebration of love - primarily the love of the bride and groom, but also of their family, friends and loved ones. Weddings symbolize new and exciting beginnings. It's all very inspiring!

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

— C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)

Love is risky, but so worth it! I don't just mean romantic love, but all kinds. Moving has made me realize how important relationships are, both with my family and friends. I will go forth in my new city with love!

Also, here is one of my favorite ee cummings poems, which is about love.

Bring it on, Houston.

Until next time!!

What Makes Me Mad? THE WORLD

Everything is made of peanut butter, so I got this. Rather than blather on about whatever comes into my head, and believe me, there is a lot going on there, I'm going to post some pictures that make me happy. Because happy is a place I want to be. I was talking to my wise mother about this over the weekend, and she made a very good point. She told me that she keeps and takes note of things that make her feel good, so I shall follow suit.

Yes. I love the Fibonacci Sequence and am intrigued by reading about it. Yes, maybe I'm a nerd. Ask me if I care.

Challenge: Find something that makes you feel happy, and concentrate on it, and, if you aren't too careful, you'll be happy! I'm doing the challenge. All day. Everyday. I'll be freakishly happy all the time. Sunbeams will be radiating out of my face. Look out, world. You might make me mad, but I'll be breaking you down one happy/loving thought at a time.

Until next time!!

Bustin' Some Rhymes

So, on my long run of the week I like to contemplate things.......the meaning of life, what I'll be wearing the next day, what I need to shop for on-line......you know. Important things: Where is that road to being a good person I was looking for the other day?? You get the idea.

Well, last weekend I was jamming to my uber cool running mix which you better believe includes Jay-Z. Have I mentioned that our romance back from the Hard Knock Life days has been rekindled? As his voice soothed my soul, I was trying to picture Jay-Z sitting down to write some songs............and I started laughing out loud. I mean, does he list out words that rhyme? Is he pulling out his pocket thesaurus?? I'm just having a hard time picturing this! I think it must just come out perfect when he goes to the studio the first time. That is the only way it can work out in my mind.

I used to write poetry in high school, which colors my ideas about brainstorming and writing or doing anything creative. Cheers to Jay-Z for beating me at this process. I never tried to rap though. Maybe that's easier. I should add free-style rapping to my list of goals I have going. More amusing things for you to read about.

Pretty sure I'll need to pick the optimal time to test out this free-style rapping, like, oh, I don't know, maybe during an interview. I will be going on lots of those soon. My future employers will need to know that I'm creative. Perfect way to show them! Or maybe I should do it at HEB the next time I go and almost die by being stampeded in the dairy section. Those people are on a MISSION I tell you. I have been trapped there on multiple occasions. I'm sure if I were rapping at people they might make a path for me, my eggs and my milk.

I'm not lying when I say that I observed a very painful first date on Millionaire Match Maker which included a free style rap from the girl to the guy. He decided she was crazy. Maybe I'll be better than her.

Well, I should go review common rhymes and do some brainstorming so I'm ready when the perfect opportunity presents itself. Does that negate the free-ness of the styling? I'm going with no.

Until next time!!

Peanut Butter

Everything is made of peanut butter. Unpacking this statement for you will be difficult. So.........I'm not gonna. Meh, call me lazy. You people will figure it out on your own. This is merely a life philosophy my mom and I live by.

Please refer to my SIL's blog for some insight into this. And possibly, oh, I don't know, read The Catcher in the Rye or watch Fight Club. Side note, my mother would disagree and tell you to watch Life as a House and read The Prince of Tides. Actually, you should read Ecclesiastes. That's actually the best way to understand that NOTHING MATTERS; and everything is made of peanut butter.

It really frees some things up and lights up a flame of passion at the same time for me. Nothing matters in terms of society and the world, expectation and obligation; all peanut butter. What is real and what matters is what is inside your brain, heart, soul.......etc. There. I unpacked it a little bit - just the trunk of the car. I'll leave you to your life and, luckily, I saved the U-haul for you to unpack!

Sometimes I get out of bed and think to myself "Everything is peanut butter." Simple! I got this!!

Until next time!

Inspiration Found Me

If Jack Osborne can do it, why can’t I? Maybe I’m behind the times, but the last thing I remember hearing about Jack Osborne was that he went to rehab……..I missed the part which occurred after when he did a British reality TV Show called Adrenaline Junkie and lost a ton a weight while doing extreme things in crazy places around the world. Hot DAMN! I might even venture to say that he became cute!

Surfing, mountain climbing, running with the BULLS, martial arts training - just to name a few of the insane things he went on a quest to accomplish. He didn’t even stop with the sheer adrenaline and sense of accomplishment for himself. No, no. He went looking for that road I was talking about earlier. You know, the one that leads to being a good person? I think he found it somewhere in Europe, but that’s beside the point! He took some kids on season 3 or something and MENTORED them. Let me just say that I am feeling a bit INSPIRED here. SO! Here we go. I’m about to be predictable and make a list of goals I would like to accomplish…………No. To hell with that! I’ll just let you know when I do something list-worthy.

Here is the first one for you. I’m currently training for a half marathon, which will take place on April 25, 2010. Stay tuned to hear about me learning to snow board which will be taking place in May, and what will be especially entertaining for you will be reading about me learning to break dance by the year’s end. You're welcome.

Until next time!!!

9 Thoughts for Thursday

1. Watching the 2010 Winter Olympics makes me feel like I'm part of something bigger. I have successfully logged ABOUT 40 hours on the Watching the 2010 Winter Olympics Log - this week alone. It's fantastic. And I don't really care about anything else going on in the world.

2. Friends are the stuff of life. I went shopping with the office girls today at lunch. Who needs food? Just kidding. Don't for one minute think I'm hardcore enough to ever skip a meal.

3. Goal setting is very healthy and necessary if one is on the road to being a good person; henceforth, I have set some goals for myself. Goal number one: wear dress clothes to work for a full week. I have no real goals. Don't be fooled. I'm not necessarily on the road to being a good person. I'm merely in the neighborhood. And even then, I just hang out and then go home.

4. Writing without the word "I" is more interesting. My next goal is to start a point with anything other than the word I. Ha! I already accomplished my goal. Maybe I'm a good person after all. (I got carried away with this goal and went back and changed thoughts 1-3 so they did not in fact start with I)

5. ee cummings has written some great poetry. Let point number 6 exemplify this.

6.
a great

man
is
gone.

Tall as the truth

was who: and
wore his(mountains
understand

how)life

like a (now
with
one sweet sun

in it,now with a

million

flaming billion kinds
of nameless

silence)sky;

7. What will ee cummings say about me in the poem he writes me when I'm gone? More goals: wear my life like a mountain wears the sky. That will make a better poem.

8. It is both hard and easy at the same time to live deliberately. Even more goals: figure out what number 8. might mean for me. I feel like that might help with the living deliberatly thing. Does this mean I have to find that road to being a good person again? Last time I checked, that road wasn't on the latest version of the map I downloaded on my GPS.

9. Snickers rock. The ratio of nougat to chocolate to caramel to nuts couldn't be better. Let the record show that fun size preserves that perfect ratio, where mini size does not.

Until next time!

Cogito ergo sum.

There's nothing like having Friday afternoon off!! It was a relaxing afternoon - time to myself, which is nice once in a while.

Isn't it strange that unpleasant things one goes through help shape future thoughts and character? When I was a freshman in college, I was enrolled in a philosophy class. I hated everything about that class; the readings, the professor, the guy in the front row that was constantly sucking up to the professor, the girl in the row over who I'm pretty sure hated me.......it was awful. Matt Miller was the bane of my existence those 4 months, mainly because of his attempts to get our class thinking about the meaning of communism, capitalism, existentialism, empiricism and the meaning of life in general.

Now looking back, what I learned in that philosophy plays a huge part in my thinking and decision making, not to mention the part it played in being able to understand and appreciate I Heart Huckabees, which is one of my all-time movie faves! I like to think I'm not a narrow minded person, and I'm pretty sure part of that comes from those painful 3 hours I suffered through as an 18-year old freshman in college from the booming town of Mustang.

What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. Until next time!!

White Plates and Cups

Sometimes I pretend to think deep thoughts. This would be one of those times. I say I pretend, because I'm not a person that takes myself all too seriously. Even though I'm pretty sure I have everything figured out. My brain operates like a ninja. Just saying. Anyway, I was contemplating the meaning of life, per norm, and here is what I came to conclude:

Life is short. I want to take in every moment, and live. I mean, really LIVE. I want to love, cry, run, explore, search, think, collect........to the fullest amount I possibly can. I want to stop looking forward to the next thing. Stop waiting, anticipating and enjoy what is in front of me, here and now. Take in the beauty of my world that surrounds me. Find the joys in everyday things. I want to live like the guy in my favorite poem. He seems like he might have been a passionate person. Read below for the all time favorite poem of Rachel Sandidge. Good stuff.

I HAVE been so great a lover: filled my days
So proudly with the splendour of Love's praise,
The pain, the calm, and the astonishment,
Desire illimitable, and still content,
And all dear names men use, to cheat despair,
For the perplexed and viewless streams that bear
Our hearts at random down the dark of life.
Now, ere the unthinking silence on that strife
Steals down, I would cheat drowsy Death so far,
My night shall be remembered for a star
That outshone all the suns of all men's days.
Shall I not crown them with immortal praise
Whom I have loved, who have given me, dared with me
High secrets, and in darkness knelt to see
The inenarrable godhead of delight?
Love is a flame;—we have beaconed the world's night.
A city:—and we have built it, these and I.
An emperor:—we have taught the world to die.
So, for their sakes I loved, ere I go hence,
And the high cause of Love's magnificence,
And to keep loyalties young, I'll write those names
Golden for ever, eagles, crying flames,
And set them as a banner, that men may know,
To dare the generations, burn, and blow
Out on the wind of Time, shining and streaming....
These I have loved:
White plates and cups, clean-gleaming,
Ringed with blue lines; and feathery, faery dust;
Wet roofs, beneath the lamp-light; the strong crust
Of friendly bread; and many-tasting food;
Rainbows; and the blue bitter smoke of wood;
And radiant raindrops couching in cool flowers;
And flowers themselves, that sway through sunny hours,
Dreaming of moths that drink them under the moon;
Then, the cool kindliness of sheets, that soon
Smooth away trouble; and the rough male kiss
Of blankets; grainy wood; live hair that is
Shining and free; blue-massing clouds; the keen
Unpassioned beauty of a great machine;
The benison of hot water; furs to touch;
The good smell of old clothes; and other such—
The comfortable smell of friendly fingers,
Hair's fragrance, and the musty reek that lingers
About dead leaves and last year's ferns....
Dear names,
And thousand others throng to me! Royal flames;
Sweet water's dimpling laugh from tap or spring;
Holes in the ground; and voices that do sing:
Voices in laughter, too; and body's pain,
Soon turned to peace; and the deep-panting train;
Firm sands; the little dulling edge of foam
That browns and dwindles as the wave goes home;
And washen stones, gay for an hour; the cold
Graveness of iron; moist black earthen mould;
Sleep; and high places; footprints in the dew;
And oaks; and brown horse-chestnuts, glossy-new;
And new-peeled sticks; and shining pools on grass;—
All these have been my loves. And these shall pass.
Whatever passes not, in the great hour,
Nor all my passion, all my prayers, have power
To hold them with me through the gate of Death.
They'll play deserter, turn with the traitor breath,
Break the high bond we made, and sell Love's trust
And sacramented covenant to the dust.
—Oh, never a doubt but, somewhere, I shall wake,
And give what's left of love again, and make
New friends, now strangers....
But the best I've known,
Stays here, and changes, breaks, grows old, is blown
About the winds of the world, and fades from brains
Of living men, and dies.
Nothing remains.

O dear my loves, O faithless, once again
This one last gift I give: that after men
Shall know, and later lovers, far-removed
Praise you, "All these were lovely"; say, "He loved."

And lets be honest; I selected a line from the poem as a title for this blog. And the reason I chose white plates and cups is because of what might be in or on the white plate and/or cup. Appreciating good cuisine is the first step to recognizing the joys of everyday life. Right??

Until next time!!