(English major, I am not. But possibly Yoda's understudy.)
Everyone makes the realization at some point in his or her adult life that people can no longer be divided into neat and nice categories. When I attended college, those in the parental category resided in a completely different box than I. When in high school, I lived miles away from my parents' neighborhood, figuratively speaking of course. I thought everyone would always stay clearly defined, mostly by the contents of the box in which they were placed.
Not exactly the case anymore.
It starts with the realization that there's really not a magic door leading to "your life." It has always been going on. It goes back to your first kiss, the numerous trips to the library, climbing trees, playing tricks on your sister...I didn't know there would never be a moment I'd look back on and say, "that is the moment I crossed over into adulthood."
Honestly.
I thought it would happen.
That my fairy godmother would appear in a dream, looking like Meryl Streep in some ridiculous vapor form, and hit me with a magic wand that imparts wisdom and a great womanly figure. I would wake up and be moved into the parent/adult category.
No. Instead, I while cooking supper one day, I thought about my grandmother doing the same thing over and over, many days of her life, and made the realization that my grandparents are people. My mom has a story outside of me and my sister. People I have looked to in my life for wisdom and direction lived with passions and real feelings.
These "adults".....they are in the same category as me.
And everyone else. Even my baby girl.
Then, later that week, I also realized that I'm not just connected to my family in this way, but I'm connected to humanity in this way also and every way possible. (by "later that week" I mean I have no idea when I was thinking about this.) I'm not the only one that has felt the exhilaration of completing a run, who has felt the pleasure and gratification of a job well done. I'm not the first person to understand the gravity of a life long commitment and relish the fact that my spouse and I love and respect one another after going through life together for a decade. I'm not the first mother and certainly not the first person to love and be loved; to hurt and inflict pain. To be.
And compared to older and wiser souls, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. But I hope that some day I'll be considered wise and will have the pleasure of watching my own children figure this out for themselves. Maybe my husband and I will even be able to discuss it over a nice cup of coffee on the back porch while our grandchildren frolic in the yard. And my children will hold me in high regard because I will be well traveled, wildly funny and an extremely good cook; not to mention as wise as Grandmother Willow. Pretty much everything covered in Proverbs 31.
Cheers, to you, humanity. Until next time!
Showing posts with label Peanut Butter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Peanut Butter. Show all posts
Monday, September 3, 2012
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Tornadoes Are a North American Phenomenon
Or so Ben, my car guy, tells me. If hurricanes occurred in the southern hemisphere, they’d spin counter-clockwise.
Life is weird. I can pick up knowledge about random things in the strangest of places; learn from the most unexpected events. I can be exceedingly happy and grateful over something that can morph into my biggest source of stress. Living miles and miles away from my loved ones can make my heart ache but can also cause seeing family that much more sweet. Bad things happen to good people, and vice-versa. And no one understands, least of all me.
I guess there is a season for everything. I wish there wasn't. But that wouldn't make everything work the same way, would it?
Everything is made of peanut butter. I’m trusting that God knows what he’s doing.
Until next time…
PS-I’m still training for the half, I will be employed officially on Thursday, and I still have the same pair of sunglasses I got around Easter this year. I’m doing something right.
Take that, cosmos.
Life is weird. I can pick up knowledge about random things in the strangest of places; learn from the most unexpected events. I can be exceedingly happy and grateful over something that can morph into my biggest source of stress. Living miles and miles away from my loved ones can make my heart ache but can also cause seeing family that much more sweet. Bad things happen to good people, and vice-versa. And no one understands, least of all me.
I guess there is a season for everything. I wish there wasn't. But that wouldn't make everything work the same way, would it?
Everything is made of peanut butter. I’m trusting that God knows what he’s doing.
Until next time…
PS-I’m still training for the half, I will be employed officially on Thursday, and I still have the same pair of sunglasses I got around Easter this year. I’m doing something right.
Take that, cosmos.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
The Un-Bucket List
Everyone seems to be making Bucket Lists. Don't get me wrong, I'm Planning Ahead's number one fan, but sitting down to do a list of things sort of takes the excitement out of it for me today. I started this post intending to write my bucket list, but it seemed lame. What matters to me is not hiking Mt. Everest, seeing the Great Wall, or surfing off the coast of Australia, which are all things that would have been on said Bucket List, except I reject Bucket Listing. I would, instead, like to wake up every day and be happy with what I have and who I have with me on this journey called life. I want to feel completely filled up with goodness because I have relationships with people and family and take note of the small things, where ever I am.
I contemplated writing a list of Things I Don't Want to Do Before I Die but that seemed sort of negative. We all know Karma is watching me, so I went ahead and deleted that. Also, mainly, it seemed hard to take seriously. Possibly because it contained items such as: clean the oven, do laundry, buy dairy from the HEB in College Station. (The bottom line is that I complain A LOT and probably have a permanent un-Buckety List running through my brain at all times, while many people in this world would be more than happy with my living conditions and in my shoes! I mean, I have a bad-ass collection of shoes, to be sure. This is what really matters in life....)
The Un-Bucket List could be the result of me perpetually wanting to not be like everyone else, damn the man, etc. Either that or I'm on to something. What I do know is that I went to get my hair cut at a funky salon in The Heights (with a vibe that, to me, says Tim Burton meets hair salon meets 100 scary mannequin heads.) I found in this place a guy getting his hair cut who has been traveling the world for 10 months. He's from Australia and is just out, traveling around. He hit up Europe and the came to the old US of A to visit some family. How awesome is that?! I am willing to place a wager that he doesn't blog his bucket list - he is out LIVING and DOING. I aspire to be such.
So......Until next time!
I'll be blogging it up in approximately 10 months!
PS-Just kidding. The main point of the Un-Bucket List is that it doesn't matter where I am or what sights I'm seeing. This is very peanut-buttery and more relational for me. The Un-Bucket List Concept includes sightseeing, but doesn't have a foundation there. It most likely involves a bunch of break dancing and maybe surfing. And mainly people!
I contemplated writing a list of Things I Don't Want to Do Before I Die but that seemed sort of negative. We all know Karma is watching me, so I went ahead and deleted that. Also, mainly, it seemed hard to take seriously. Possibly because it contained items such as: clean the oven, do laundry, buy dairy from the HEB in College Station. (The bottom line is that I complain A LOT and probably have a permanent un-Buckety List running through my brain at all times, while many people in this world would be more than happy with my living conditions and in my shoes! I mean, I have a bad-ass collection of shoes, to be sure. This is what really matters in life....)
The Un-Bucket List could be the result of me perpetually wanting to not be like everyone else, damn the man, etc. Either that or I'm on to something. What I do know is that I went to get my hair cut at a funky salon in The Heights (with a vibe that, to me, says Tim Burton meets hair salon meets 100 scary mannequin heads.) I found in this place a guy getting his hair cut who has been traveling the world for 10 months. He's from Australia and is just out, traveling around. He hit up Europe and the came to the old US of A to visit some family. How awesome is that?! I am willing to place a wager that he doesn't blog his bucket list - he is out LIVING and DOING. I aspire to be such.
So......Until next time!
I'll be blogging it up in approximately 10 months!
PS-Just kidding. The main point of the Un-Bucket List is that it doesn't matter where I am or what sights I'm seeing. This is very peanut-buttery and more relational for me. The Un-Bucket List Concept includes sightseeing, but doesn't have a foundation there. It most likely involves a bunch of break dancing and maybe surfing. And mainly people!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
War: Revised
This is the post I wrote earlier today:
"This is the war on unemployment, the war on fat and the war on out-of-shapeness. Things are about to get serious. Free is an even bigger oxymoron today than it was yesterday."
But then I saved it rather than posting it because I'm pretty sure I can be classified as a cop-out because the very next post would most likely be about this so-called war actually starting tomorrow. So when I realized this I felt sorry for myself, because I'm lazy? The reason can't be pinpointed. So then I sulked and luckily read some good blog-work, mainly on a blog about women who post under the topic "I am Enough."
Here's the deal. Society can rule our thoughts and feelings of self worth. Society: You must be thin, you must get a 4 year degree, you must dress like you care, you must get a job and have a 5 year plan, you must have kids by a certain age, you must read The Gold Coast....wait. That last one was me, not society. You must eat cookies.......me again.
But seriously, I feel that if I'm not using my 4 year degree and using it at a job, that I actually have, I am ultimately a failure. But it hit me just now that this may not be true. What I need to figure out is my purpose, whether or not it has to do with a job, and do that. God put me here for a specific reason, maybe just to touch others lives with encouragement (sarcastic encouragement...that's an oxymoron?), maybe just to blog or eat southwest cheese enchiladas at Chuy's, maybe to be a mom. Whatever he had in mind....I am enough. And I need to believe it with every fiber of my being.
Cheers, to everything being made of peanut butter, and me being enough.
Until next time...
PS-This depressing/enlightening attitude might be due to the fact that I keep hearing the song Mad World over and over. It's stuck in my head. It's taking over my life. I literally hear it EVERY time I get in the car....or that God is trying to make a point. Probably the second one.
Other PS-I'm listening to the original Tears for Fears version circa 1982 and cracking up. Partially because Matt's dancing to it. Partially because it makes me feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.
Yet Another PS-I am recalling some very good advice that a very wise woman gave me once. She told me that half our problems resulted from focusing on ourselves. She told me that I could start solving things by focusing on others, and not on myself; that I needed to find a way to help others. Maybe I should take this advice again.
"This is the war on unemployment, the war on fat and the war on out-of-shapeness. Things are about to get serious. Free is an even bigger oxymoron today than it was yesterday."
But then I saved it rather than posting it because I'm pretty sure I can be classified as a cop-out because the very next post would most likely be about this so-called war actually starting tomorrow. So when I realized this I felt sorry for myself, because I'm lazy? The reason can't be pinpointed. So then I sulked and luckily read some good blog-work, mainly on a blog about women who post under the topic "I am Enough."
Here's the deal. Society can rule our thoughts and feelings of self worth. Society: You must be thin, you must get a 4 year degree, you must dress like you care, you must get a job and have a 5 year plan, you must have kids by a certain age, you must read The Gold Coast....wait. That last one was me, not society. You must eat cookies.......me again.
But seriously, I feel that if I'm not using my 4 year degree and using it at a job, that I actually have, I am ultimately a failure. But it hit me just now that this may not be true. What I need to figure out is my purpose, whether or not it has to do with a job, and do that. God put me here for a specific reason, maybe just to touch others lives with encouragement (sarcastic encouragement...that's an oxymoron?), maybe just to blog or eat southwest cheese enchiladas at Chuy's, maybe to be a mom. Whatever he had in mind....I am enough. And I need to believe it with every fiber of my being.
Cheers, to everything being made of peanut butter, and me being enough.
Until next time...
PS-This depressing/enlightening attitude might be due to the fact that I keep hearing the song Mad World over and over. It's stuck in my head. It's taking over my life. I literally hear it EVERY time I get in the car....or that God is trying to make a point. Probably the second one.
Other PS-I'm listening to the original Tears for Fears version circa 1982 and cracking up. Partially because Matt's dancing to it. Partially because it makes me feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.
Yet Another PS-I am recalling some very good advice that a very wise woman gave me once. She told me that half our problems resulted from focusing on ourselves. She told me that I could start solving things by focusing on others, and not on myself; that I needed to find a way to help others. Maybe I should take this advice again.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Just Call Me Char*
Happy Sunday.
Karma might owe me because I was keeping score today:
I went to church. One point. I skimmed the junk off the community pool. One point. I baked an apple pie for husband. One point. I didn't work out. Probably a point for mental health. But I'll omit that one. I noticed the amount of points I was earning. Minus a point. I read things online and laughed out loud. This doesn't have an effect on the points, but it's a mildly amusing detail I included for your enjoyment. I want to eat the first piece of pie I baked for husband. Minus a point. Finally, I blogged. One point. Maybe? I'm either one or two points ahead. I would like to cash in these points and apply them to the discovery of a job. Thanks!
I got an iPhone and have spent a LOT of hours playing words with friends. This coincides nicely with the fact that I'm unemployed. I've also been building ideas for the non-existent book I'm going to write. Did I mention that I'm unemployed? I say the book is non-existent, but it might become existent because my sister is going to write it. I'm informed that we are going to be the Bronte sisters, modernized. Seeing as I have no knowledge of classics or writers thereof, I believe it will be like the Bronte sisters, Katie being the writer, me being the other one, not quite on spot, thinking that Heathcliff is the subject of a comic strip. Or hoping that it's candy. Probably the second. I may have just lost all my points mentioned in the previous paragraph. *(Since we're going with the Bronte Sisters, modernized, you should probably call me Cher and not Char, short for Charlotte, now Cherlette in the modern version.)
I gained a point back because I spent so much time blogging that Matt finished his supper and now we are going to eat pie simultaneously. Also? We're going to watch There Will Be Blood. I get two points for enduring that.
I win. Maybe. We'll see how many interviews I don't get this week.
Reminder: Everything is made of peanut butter.
Until next time!!
Karma might owe me because I was keeping score today:
I went to church. One point. I skimmed the junk off the community pool. One point. I baked an apple pie for husband. One point. I didn't work out. Probably a point for mental health. But I'll omit that one. I noticed the amount of points I was earning. Minus a point. I read things online and laughed out loud. This doesn't have an effect on the points, but it's a mildly amusing detail I included for your enjoyment. I want to eat the first piece of pie I baked for husband. Minus a point. Finally, I blogged. One point. Maybe? I'm either one or two points ahead. I would like to cash in these points and apply them to the discovery of a job. Thanks!
I got an iPhone and have spent a LOT of hours playing words with friends. This coincides nicely with the fact that I'm unemployed. I've also been building ideas for the non-existent book I'm going to write. Did I mention that I'm unemployed? I say the book is non-existent, but it might become existent because my sister is going to write it. I'm informed that we are going to be the Bronte sisters, modernized. Seeing as I have no knowledge of classics or writers thereof, I believe it will be like the Bronte sisters, Katie being the writer, me being the other one, not quite on spot, thinking that Heathcliff is the subject of a comic strip. Or hoping that it's candy. Probably the second. I may have just lost all my points mentioned in the previous paragraph. *(Since we're going with the Bronte Sisters, modernized, you should probably call me Cher and not Char, short for Charlotte, now Cherlette in the modern version.)
I gained a point back because I spent so much time blogging that Matt finished his supper and now we are going to eat pie simultaneously. Also? We're going to watch There Will Be Blood. I get two points for enduring that.
I win. Maybe. We'll see how many interviews I don't get this week.
Reminder: Everything is made of peanut butter.
Until next time!!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Where are all the voice mails?
Ohhhh, yesteryear. It seems like such a fuzzy, misty memory. So fuzzy, in fact, that I can't remember the name of the elementary school I attended in 3rd and 4th grade. Yes. Most people fondly remember their 3rd grade teacher and school and the positive impact the year had on their life. I, however, cannot remember either of my teachers' names or the name of my school.
Maybe this was during the time period when Big Brother erased my memory and brainwashed me into this society? Or maybe I just didn't care enough about school to remember? I do, however, distinctly remember the boy I had a crush on. You can see I've always had my priorities straight!
Wait, now that I'm hashing it out over the blog, My 4th grade teacher is coming back. Mrs. Riggs? She was an old lady and I did enjoy her class. (She let me sit by Daniel. I'll let you guess who that might be)
Some interesting questions surface:
Am I remembering correctly?
Just because I remember it that way, is it reality?
What is reality?
What makes the past me the same person as the present me? My memories? Because they are obviously failing. Other people's memories? Because I can't even trust my own memory, let alone someone else's.
Do I really exist?
Does this blog exist?
What is the Internet?
Where do they keep all the voice mails?
Where is Matt Miller when I need him? He probably has an answer to this.
Conclusion: Pictures. Take lots of pictures. Because maybe you can trust those.
Until next time! Maybe. If I exist.
Maybe this was during the time period when Big Brother erased my memory and brainwashed me into this society? Or maybe I just didn't care enough about school to remember? I do, however, distinctly remember the boy I had a crush on. You can see I've always had my priorities straight!
Wait, now that I'm hashing it out over the blog, My 4th grade teacher is coming back. Mrs. Riggs? She was an old lady and I did enjoy her class. (She let me sit by Daniel. I'll let you guess who that might be)
Some interesting questions surface:
Am I remembering correctly?
Just because I remember it that way, is it reality?
What is reality?
What makes the past me the same person as the present me? My memories? Because they are obviously failing. Other people's memories? Because I can't even trust my own memory, let alone someone else's.
Do I really exist?
Does this blog exist?
What is the Internet?
Where do they keep all the voice mails?
Where is Matt Miller when I need him? He probably has an answer to this.
Conclusion: Pictures. Take lots of pictures. Because maybe you can trust those.
Until next time! Maybe. If I exist.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
What Makes Me Mad? THE WORLD
Everything is made of peanut butter, so I got this. Rather than blather on about whatever comes into my head, and believe me, there is a lot going on there, I'm going to post some pictures that make me happy. Because happy is a place I want to be. I was talking to my wise mother about this over the weekend, and she made a very good point. She told me that she keeps and takes note of things that make her feel good, so I shall follow suit.
Yes. I love the Fibonacci Sequence and am intrigued by reading about it. Yes, maybe I'm a nerd. Ask me if I care.
Challenge: Find something that makes you feel happy, and concentrate on it, and, if you aren't too careful, you'll be happy! I'm doing the challenge. All day. Everyday. I'll be freakishly happy all the time. Sunbeams will be radiating out of my face. Look out, world. You might make me mad, but I'll be breaking you down one happy/loving thought at a time.
Until next time!!
Yes. I love the Fibonacci Sequence and am intrigued by reading about it. Yes, maybe I'm a nerd. Ask me if I care.
Challenge: Find something that makes you feel happy, and concentrate on it, and, if you aren't too careful, you'll be happy! I'm doing the challenge. All day. Everyday. I'll be freakishly happy all the time. Sunbeams will be radiating out of my face. Look out, world. You might make me mad, but I'll be breaking you down one happy/loving thought at a time.
Until next time!!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Boxes II
Items I uncovered during the box extravaganza 2010:
1. Old 5 X 7 of my middle school boyfriend, which is now waiting on my mom's nightstand in a giant frame. I would like to be a fly on the wall when she notices.
2. About 20 shirts I bought from the thrift store in the kid section that I used to wear in high school. What was I thinking??
3. Jeans, select pairs I couldn't bear to part with. Obviously because jnco jeans are hard to come by and are super gangster. What was I thinking?? Some legit ones were in the mix as well, including the jeans I painted with my girlfriends for senior night. Gotta save those for the kids to see later!
4. 4 mums I wore on homecoming. Super fun memories.
5. An interview I conducted for my health class in college. The person I selected to interview was my sister. And it was life changing. I'll include the transcript on a rainy day. It's entertaining to say the least.
6. Cards. Billions of cards I have kept throughout my childhood. I love receiving greeting cards, and will not throw them away. I have tons and tons of them. I'm going to be on the TLC show Hoarding: Buried Alive. The camera man will have to shovel out greeting cards just to make it in my doorway.
7. My favorite was looking at old pictures. Especially from middle school. Oh, it's crazy how things seem so cool and 15 years later....not so much. So much for foresight.
8. All of the items from my Philosophy class. It made me curse Matt Miller all over again. And that was amusing.
My work is done here. My belongings and memories now sit in a mini-storage, waiting. I'm not sure for what. Strange how things can mean so much and stir up such memories. It is just stuff, after all.
This lovely trip back to my hometown has allowed me to see many people I haven't seen in a long time. It's good to catch up with everyone and to think about all these people in Oklahoma who I love! My heart feels full and content to know what is going on with everyone. Love it. There's no place like home! Especially when mom cooks delicious food.
Until next time!!
1. Old 5 X 7 of my middle school boyfriend, which is now waiting on my mom's nightstand in a giant frame. I would like to be a fly on the wall when she notices.
2. About 20 shirts I bought from the thrift store in the kid section that I used to wear in high school. What was I thinking??
3. Jeans, select pairs I couldn't bear to part with. Obviously because jnco jeans are hard to come by and are super gangster. What was I thinking?? Some legit ones were in the mix as well, including the jeans I painted with my girlfriends for senior night. Gotta save those for the kids to see later!
4. 4 mums I wore on homecoming. Super fun memories.
5. An interview I conducted for my health class in college. The person I selected to interview was my sister. And it was life changing. I'll include the transcript on a rainy day. It's entertaining to say the least.
6. Cards. Billions of cards I have kept throughout my childhood. I love receiving greeting cards, and will not throw them away. I have tons and tons of them. I'm going to be on the TLC show Hoarding: Buried Alive. The camera man will have to shovel out greeting cards just to make it in my doorway.
7. My favorite was looking at old pictures. Especially from middle school. Oh, it's crazy how things seem so cool and 15 years later....not so much. So much for foresight.
8. All of the items from my Philosophy class. It made me curse Matt Miller all over again. And that was amusing.
My work is done here. My belongings and memories now sit in a mini-storage, waiting. I'm not sure for what. Strange how things can mean so much and stir up such memories. It is just stuff, after all.
This lovely trip back to my hometown has allowed me to see many people I haven't seen in a long time. It's good to catch up with everyone and to think about all these people in Oklahoma who I love! My heart feels full and content to know what is going on with everyone. Love it. There's no place like home! Especially when mom cooks delicious food.
Until next time!!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
More Peanut Butter
First, I have a revision to the Peanut Butter Life Theory. My mom would have you watch Crazy/Beautiful in your quest for understanding the meaning of life i.e. everything is made of peanut butter. This would be a great movie about the meaning of life and true love, except that Kirsten Dunst's hair looks like it was dipped in a vat of oil and she literally never wears a bra in the entire movie. Both of these points distract me from the great story line.
Second, I have an addition to the Peanut Butter Life Theory. You could also watch 500 Days of Summer, which I have already shamelessly admitted my obsession and love for. If you haven't followed my directions yet, you still have time. Go watch it.
Side point while we are on the peanut butter thing: let it be known that food ratios are key and very dear to my heart. You know where I'm going with this...........My ideal peanut butter sandwich is 2:1:1, bread, peanut butter and jelly, respectively. Don't over jelly me.
Finally, tomorrow is MONDAY......dreaded. If I could work at Empire Records for one day, tomorrow would be that day. Can you see it? If I had photoshop on my computer, this image would be even more helpful with your visualization.
My book is calling me, as is my bed. Until next time!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Peanut Butter
Everything is made of peanut butter. Unpacking this statement for you will be difficult. So.........I'm not gonna. Meh, call me lazy. You people will figure it out on your own. This is merely a life philosophy my mom and I live by.
Please refer to my SIL's blog for some insight into this. And possibly, oh, I don't know, read The Catcher in the Rye or watch Fight Club. Side note, my mother would disagree and tell you to watch Life as a House and read The Prince of Tides. Actually, you should read Ecclesiastes. That's actually the best way to understand that NOTHING MATTERS; and everything is made of peanut butter.
It really frees some things up and lights up a flame of passion at the same time for me. Nothing matters in terms of society and the world, expectation and obligation; all peanut butter. What is real and what matters is what is inside your brain, heart, soul.......etc. There. I unpacked it a little bit - just the trunk of the car. I'll leave you to your life and, luckily, I saved the U-haul for you to unpack!
Sometimes I get out of bed and think to myself "Everything is peanut butter." Simple! I got this!!
Until next time!
Please refer to my SIL's blog for some insight into this. And possibly, oh, I don't know, read The Catcher in the Rye or watch Fight Club. Side note, my mother would disagree and tell you to watch Life as a House and read The Prince of Tides. Actually, you should read Ecclesiastes. That's actually the best way to understand that NOTHING MATTERS; and everything is made of peanut butter.
It really frees some things up and lights up a flame of passion at the same time for me. Nothing matters in terms of society and the world, expectation and obligation; all peanut butter. What is real and what matters is what is inside your brain, heart, soul.......etc. There. I unpacked it a little bit - just the trunk of the car. I'll leave you to your life and, luckily, I saved the U-haul for you to unpack!
Sometimes I get out of bed and think to myself "Everything is peanut butter." Simple! I got this!!
Until next time!
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